I have a love and hate relationship with depression.
It's like a annoying friend that you never want to invite to your party, but once he/she come, he/she always brings something good to you.
i spent a whole night struggling with this friend. I've cried, talked to people, had no sleep. I couldn't run away from the feeling, also couldn't beat it down. I decided to just let it destroy me, but I am still alive. Depression has nothing to do with death. Animals have their natural survival instincts, even being deprssing mostly just a temporary dramatic feeling. but it helps me to sense the death, so it naturally arouse the desire of servival. So potentially, my mind just feeling so fresh and peaceful, I unintentionally have the ability to use all the things I've heard and seem at the past, my brain just widely opened at this moment. I don't know what I am talking about but I wanna write down everything.
lately, it's been too much things stuck in my mind. I feel excited, happy, loved, stressed, hopeless....
how come it's all happened in my mind? Why people keep saying all you need is love, why love still didn't make me an angel?
Only one thing I still believe in, run away.
people don't understand that why I always running away,
because I don't want to blended in,
i don't want to have a numb eye contact with the air,
i don't want to have a unreasonable anger towards the innocent,
i don't wanna lose faith for the right that people deserve.
Anyways, the result I have just writing all those unmeaningful thinking, no one cares, but it makes me happy.
I like the fact that I don't wanna take the responsible for what I said, I just gonna say anything comes out in my mind.
don't think that I don't miss you, you are completely wrong.
thanks for your love, it's been so many times you made me find the way back to my soul.
I won't be stronger because I am strong.
do you agree with me that depression causes revolution?
I will keep taking pictures with my camera because that way I don't have to use my mouth.
First photoshoot since I returned to China.
Nanning, a subtropical city, warm as California during the winter time.
I followed my friend Feifei see what does she do in her general work.
She is an interior decorator, that day luckily I got to go to picking up plants with her for a Nails salon.
I was totally enjoy be in the plant's shop.
I think that's true that the people live in the warm place are more laid back, like the owner of this plant's shop. I imagining her planting and chilling every day in this shop. Who doesn't want to, being between such lovely little plants, doesn't need to care about the business, whoever walk in, if you wanna buy it, go ahead, suit yourself. But please don't bother me pulling down my cup of tea.
Such a ideal lifestyle.