I used to think that only humans eyes has the ability shows emotion, I was into portrait photography a lot. when my friends was taking photo of the DC building I told them I wasn't interesting because I didn't see the purpose taking photo of a building that everybody does.Never thought that I would like street photography until I returned to China. The culture just catches my eyes, the history buildings and the lifestyle that people are really living in, makes the unique culture. And I can see emotions and the soul come from the building.
About a month ago just I returned to China, my friends asked how's china looks like. I took a pic of the city side which is brand new building with big glasses windows. I was like, wait a minute, I wouldn't say that this is how's china looks like. This is not the China in my heart, Buildings, busy people, business... people here keep chasing this, they are so shame about the old side of china for some reason. They can't wait to get rid of all the Old buildings. it's like an inappropriate dress for a person, makes me uncomfortable to call it CHINA. I feel like I have the responsible to show the real side, the real beauty of China. I am planning to bring the camera down to the real life, I feel like this is the whole purpose of buying an expensive camera, not for showing off, not for faking the beauty, just telling the story.
Even though I am Chinese, just like many of you, I grew up watched Hongkong movie. but the real Chinese life is still have nothing to do with KUNGFU. Until I visited this city Wuzhou.
Wuzhou is in southern China, part of Guangxi, two hours away from Guangdong province. Typical Cantonese style, this is how I feel. I like the way that they keep the old Chinese culture, people are more living in a PURE life. Because the city doesn't get to over developed, least commercialize. I was walking on the street on the phone call with my friend telling him wow this is China, I feel so right!
A local Nanning magazine asked me if I am interesting put some of my photos on their series "Goodbye Nanning". I said, of course, Nanning is my hometown, also the capital of Guangxi province. Obviously, they never stop develop this city as a BIG CITY, especially in these couple years. Yes, it does look like a big city, traffic, big buildings, subway, expensive cars, high-end shopping mall.... They want it more and more and trying to get rid of the old things as soon as possible. Seeing the constructions everywhere honestly, I don't even feel a bit happy. oppositely, I am feeling sad. for me, Nanning is supposed to be a city about street foods, mahjong, lazy sunshine...
outside of the city
I have a love and hate relationship with depression.
It's like a annoying friend that you never want to invite to your party, but once he/she come, he/she always brings something good to you.
i spent a whole night struggling with this friend. I've cried, talked to people, had no sleep. I couldn't run away from the feeling, also couldn't beat it down. I decided to just let it destroy me, but I am still alive. Depression has nothing to do with death. Animals have their natural survival instincts, even being deprssing mostly just a temporary dramatic feeling. but it helps me to sense the death, so it naturally arouse the desire of servival. So potentially, my mind just feeling so fresh and peaceful, I unintentionally have the ability to use all the things I've heard and seem at the past, my brain just widely opened at this moment. I don't know what I am talking about but I wanna write down everything.
lately, it's been too much things stuck in my mind. I feel excited, happy, loved, stressed, hopeless....
how come it's all happened in my mind? Why people keep saying all you need is love, why love still didn't make me an angel?
Only one thing I still believe in, run away.
people don't understand that why I always running away,
because I don't want to blended in,
i don't want to have a numb eye contact with the air,
i don't want to have a unreasonable anger towards the innocent,
i don't wanna lose faith for the right that people deserve.
Anyways, the result I have just writing all those unmeaningful thinking, no one cares, but it makes me happy.
I like the fact that I don't wanna take the responsible for what I said, I just gonna say anything comes out in my mind.
don't think that I don't miss you, you are completely wrong.
thanks for your love, it's been so many times you made me find the way back to my soul.
I won't be stronger because I am strong.
do you agree with me that depression causes revolution?
I will keep taking pictures with my camera because that way I don't have to use my mouth.
First photoshoot since I returned to China.
Nanning, a subtropical city, warm as California during the winter time.
I followed my friend Feifei see what does she do in her general work.
She is an interior decorator, that day luckily I got to go to picking up plants with her for a Nails salon.
I was totally enjoy be in the plant's shop.
I think that's true that the people live in the warm place are more laid back, like the owner of this plant's shop. I imagining her planting and chilling every day in this shop. Who doesn't want to, being between such lovely little plants, doesn't need to care about the business, whoever walk in, if you wanna buy it, go ahead, suit yourself. But please don't bother me pulling down my cup of tea.
Such a ideal lifestyle.
Georgetown, one of my favorite place in D.C. My last momenry in there.